Thursday, June 30, 2011

Back to square one.

So here we are.  Things have quieted down quite a bit around here.  It's almost feeling kind-of normal again.  Dare I say that? I may have just jinxed myself.  

It's as if we're back to where we were in February.  No school (ESY), no leaving the house. I think he would do ok on short trips out but, we're in no position to even chance that right now. So far, everyday has been filled with at least one incident. Yesterday was our first incident free day.  It was nice to finally enjoy the day.  We BBQ'd, did some sidewalk chalk drawings on the driveway with BOTH kids, watched dad play with his loud tools... just had some fun.  I want to say things are even BETTER but.. they're really not.  I know things only SEEM better because there are NO demands on him what so ever.  I've taken ESY off the table until we get into the hospital.  The most he has to be concerned with is what to have for lunch. 

Tuesday was quite interesting.  It started out with me calling the neurologist to notify him that we brought in a psychiatrist to the mix.  (i speak with the neuro's nurse since she's the one that runs the show for him) Well, bringing up a psychiatrist struck a nerve with her (as I knew it would). Our neurologist is pretty well known.  He's been on Larry King a few times (to debunk the vaccine theory and to debate the gut issue against Wakefield and he's been a consultant to the US Government on the same issues).  The point of me calling ahead, instead of him just finding out by getting reports, was just to let him know of Tommy being pink-slipped, and wanting Tommy to get looked at for Bipolar Disorder aside from his Autism.  I believe the neuro thinks that all of these behaviors fall under the  Autism umbrella.  Which, in most cases, they would.  And yes, he's already on the medications that would be prescribed for bipolar disorder.  Bipolar runs in my family.  2 of my 4 siblings have been diagnosed with it.  There's a LOT of mental health issues on my side of the family.  Autism is neurological.  Bipolar is mental health.  I know the problems we're having are NOT autism related.  ugh! Anyhow, I'm really not sure if it was the fact that I brought a Psychiatrist to the table, or that this psych is from the Cleveland Clinic (all of our other docs are out of University/Rainbow babies.. The clinic's "competitor" so to speak).  She then informed me that "well, mr. "new doc" can take over all of the prescriptions then." HUH?  She went on and on that bringing in another doc prescribing different meds was not a good idea etc .. *smh*  Whatever.  We're scheduled to see him (the neurologist) in 3 weeks.. him and I will talk then.  lol!

Then, the Social Worker from the hospital called to check in and see how things are going for now (the psych is on vacation till monday).  It was just reassuring to know that we were all moving forward.  

So then, I was about to head out to the grocery store.  Tom had just returned from Home Depot so I was helping him get stuff out of the truck so I could go. A man pulls into our driveway and sits there for a few minutes before he set off his own car alarm and couldn't get it to turn off! Of course I couldn't contain myself, and was standing there laughing.  I had no clue who he was! So he finally gets it shut off, and gets out and comes to introduce himself.  He was from Job and Family Services (Ohio's version of CPS) *gulp*  I am so good at putting my foot in my mouth.  

He turned out to be a really nice guy though.  Our past interactions with such agencies have not been so pleasant.  Nobody "called on us".. He came as part of the protocol of Tommy being pink-slipped.  The first thing he wanted to do is see my injuries.  (While i was in the hospital, the police took photos, which he saw, and wanted to "see for himself")  Then we talked about how everything went down, the history of Tommy etc.  There's a board of city officials  here that offer funding for people in our situation.  After an hour and a half of talking (the last 45 minutes being him wanting my input on a case of his that he was having difficulties with. *may I add that EVERY STINKING TIME these agencies come out to our home, they end up wanting to pick my brain for ideas, doctors etc! I'm going to start charging for my services!!*)   Anyhow, we signed ALL of the release papers so that everyone can legally TALK about Tommy with one another.  

As scared and terrified as I was when all of this started, I'm feeling quite positive right now.  As many of you may already know.. our older kids suffer not just from their diagnosis, but MOSTLY they suffer from the LACK of having a SYSTEM in place!! I get so frustrated of people saying "im so sorry Mrs Logan but there is NO system for you son".  Our kids are currently grouped with either criminals, mentally insane/mentally unstable. That leaves OUR kids, who look "normal" and might actually  SPEAK "normal".. Very VERY vulnerable.  Tommy is high functioning with behavior issues and cognitive deficits that make him LOOK like a 16 yr old teenager, but his mind is about 5.  I feel really lucky right now.  One of my acquaintances, without getting into HER story, ended up having to send her son to another state to live in a group home to keep her son from being institutionalized.  For us, our county is working WITH us. Her county, was NOT so helpful. Everyone seems to want to unconditionally, and legitimately want to help Tommy, AND my Family.    

Over the course of the past 14 years of fighting the system FOR Tommy, its finally starting to help us.  

So, even thought we're back to square one.. and back to no school and no leaving the house.. I do see a glimmer of hope.. a small light at the end of the tunnel.  Even if Tommy were to have another explosion right this minute, there's a plan.  I know who to call.  THAT, is reassuring.  


  1. I really enjoy reading your blog. I dont' have any kids but it is reassuring and warming to know how much you care for your own. I wish you all the best and am gong to continue to send good juju your way.

  2. Thanks so much!! I really appreciate your words, AND your juju :)

  3. We have a lot in common, my oldest son has Mood Disorder and Asperger with a few added others. I'm now following your journey. I started blogging a little over a month ago and I;m always happy to know there are others out there who can relate.