Thursday, June 23, 2011

Heavy Feelings

Things are pretty idle around here lately.  We've taken the rest of the ESY week off just to.. recover.  Tommy's adjusting to some increases of meds which pretty much have him sleeping a LOT.  When he's not sleeping, he wants to be left alone.  That's so hard for me.  He's taken to the basement. A corner that has no windows. Only a TV that he keeps The Weather Channel on constantly.  He's chosen to sleep down there on a twin sized air mattress rather than his queen sized bed.  It's like he's hibernating.  Secluding himself.  From everyone.  Last night I at least thought he'd let me tuck him in.  Instead I got "no kiss. Please go away".  


It kills my heart.  I'm trying so hard to not take things like this personally but.. i do. I've been a stay at home mom for 16 years.  My kids are literally MY LIFE.  


Processing all of this, is so hard.  Taking a shower and feeling the pain of the soap getting inside of my injuries.. realizing that OH! there's another bruise.  Actually finding the bald spots in my scalp.  It's just... hard.  And, I'm so sad.  


I really need some positive things to come our way.

4 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that the new doctor and meds help. Hugs.

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  2. I have nothing but hugs.

    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete