Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I should blog...

Yeah, I should blog.  Come tomorrow, i'll be away from the beloved netbook (will still have the blackberry of course).  We got the call today for Tommy's stint in the hospital/psych facility. Tomorrow 10am.  We've been doing laundry to get everything clean so we can pack.  But, I can't pack in front of him.. because he gets upset. 

I spent today reassuring him that "Mommy is going to be there with you.  You are NOT going to be alone"  It does very little to comfort him.  He wants me to confirm that there will be NO shots.  I tell him "I hope not".  That's upsetting him too.  I WANT blood work.  We NEED it.  All of these meds, for 3 years.. we NEED blood work.  And, what if he has a major meltdown and they have to "calm" him with his PRN?  I cant tell him no shots.  This is a big deal to him.

I knew the call was coming today.  I tried everything to keep my mind off of things.  Mowed the grass by lunch time (2 acres) Got Tommy in the pool with dad and Brianna and had a really good time.  I'm really appreciating the moments we get to have FUN together. 

Just as we were wrapping up the pool, the phone rang.  So, the rest of my day/night was spent talking with the staff there, doing the intake over the phone.. getting what admitting we could do over the phone.  

We're all going.  Brianna wanted to go too.  I was on the fence about this.  What 14 year old is mature enough to comprehend a psych unit.  I sat her down.. explained exactly what it is. How its NOT a regular hospital floor. She said "i'm going to miss him.  And, he's my brother, and I want to be there for him".  She did choose to wait in the hallway though. (There's a sitting/lounge area)  She doesn't want to go behind the doors.  I don't blame her.   I don't want to go either.

I know he isn't going to like it. I know he's going to hate it.  He's supposed to hate it.  I know its not going to be easy for him.  I know he WILL have meltdowns.  I know he will fight them.  The one thing that I so badly just dont want him to be... is scared.  I just don't want him to be... scared.  

Wish us luck. 


  1. Hugs! I will be holding you up in spirit! Thinking about you all week!

  2. Praying, friend. You are scared, your family is scared, he will be scared, but he will also adjust. You will adjust, your family will adjust, and soon he will be home. I am praying this is the step that will give you all the answers you are looking for and when he comes home he will be more stable & you can have some peace & harmony at home again. Until then, call on me if you need to.

  3. This is the time I want to tell you that being scared is a learning/teaching experience, but these are our SPECIAL NEEDS children who do not learn the same way we do. So, throw that out the window. However, he is going to be scared... in GOOD HANDS!!!! I will be there in spirit with you, and I will be sending you strength to get through this. You have an amazing family; lean on them this week!!!! Your daughter is YOUR daughter for a reason, and this once will not hurt her. She is strength and courage on two feet, and she is telling you what she needs, too. I love you, sister from another mister and I am scared and sad and worried and hopeful with yoy!!! You are not alone! Let all your people be your strength, while you are Tommy's.

  4. Good thoughts and prayers are coming your way!

  5. Thinking of you and hope things go well, or as well as can be expected. ((hugs))

  6. Thank you .. ALL of you. Your support has been a great help through this process.