OH MY GOSH. I really didn't think it would be possible to top the Fun Friday! My freaking horoscope was so spot on. Check this out-
Get ready to impress yourself today, when you outlast another person in an endurance competition. You might not be aware of the contest while it is happening, but you'll certainly know when you've won. Get ready for a surprise gift of money or attention. It seems that you have more stamina than you knew you had! This newly discovered fortitude of yours will be helpful in the upcoming days, when you'll have to exercise a modicum of self-control.
From the moment this child of mine woke up this morning it was more-less gimme gimmee gimmeeee!! I fed him.. we went through our conversations about the weather, typically he would go up for his weekend of non-stop free time but instead we had to harass mom. Lets talk about Christmas. And going to the hotel (it was flurrying today and he really wanted to see the radar at the hotel room) Over and over and over. I just viciously cleaned while he stalked me. Then it was food. I want lunch. You JUST ate breakfast! omg. Fine, Im going to tired this kid out unless it kills me!! "you go downstairs and do ALLLLL of the sports center (at least a 35 minute physical project) then i'll make lunch. So he did that while I sat and rocked texting hubs how horrible teenagers with autism are. Then he came upstairs soooo tired. So, he ate. Ohh noooo son. You're not done. I pull out one of his least favorite games. PERFECTION. He LOVES matching the shapes quickly but he doesn't use the timer. Causes way too much anxiety. But after her gets all of the shapes in he presses the timer and watches them explode and gets excited. Nope, not once, not twice.. lets do this 3 times. And here help mom clean this. Finally he was done with me. Free time? See ya later bub!
It was sweet. Got to watch some Ghost Adventures with Brianna. Hubs was going out for dinner so I didn't have to cook *cheat night!!* AND he was going to take the kids. OH and he was getting creamer on the way home. Sweet evening!! While they were gone, I laid around and played with the dogs.
It was relaxing.. nice and all that stuff. They come home and every one gets fed. Tommy starts getting all pissed because we're trying to dress the dogs up as Darth Vadar.
I couldn't get a good picture to save my life. The glowing eyes.. was probably the evil penetrating through them saying GET THIS DAMN THING OFF OF ME!
Tommy was upset about this and sat at the table scripting over and over about "opening the (-mouthing the word- fucking) present" Same sentence present replaced with box. Over and over. Ugh Go shower.. that will buy me 30 minutes.
OH NO IT DOESN'T! Not tonight. Because tonight is Shitbag Saturday. All of a sudden, there is no water. Hubs had begun to do the dishes and it went from on to, barely trickling. I RUN upstairs and Tommy's already upset. The shower had stopped. I, just pretend it was time for the shower to be done and "we'll do it again tomorrow". He's showing signs that -ohmyfuckinggawd! we didnt get to shampoo or wash body!!!!!- coming from him, but i just ignored it all. mess with his face a little. Do the lotion things, clean the ears blah blah blah.. I'm moving so fast that he can't question me (because i was PANICKING inside thinking a pipe had burst but trusted that hubs was checking on that) He settles in to the rest of the routine and seems to have given up the water incident.
So we cant figure out WHAT THE FRICK is going on! All pipes are fine. The pump is running fine. Fuse boxes all great. We HAVE to call someone. We are on well water, we HAVE to have water. AARGHH! We use Culligan so we're cool to drink but.. the research we've done so far, this may cost an ASSLOAD of money. Good thing all of the Christmas gifts are bought and done with! HAHAA! Just the greatest way to end this CRAPPY year. I'm just done. SEEEEETHING. I am just at the complete end of my rope to what I can cope with. DONE DONE DONE. I go sit in the garage. I just want to hear silence. I don't want to hear talking. Tv. Breathing. Dogs moving. NOTHING. I need to just be alone. I decide, just take an anxiety pill and call it a night. There's NOTHING I can do tonight (other than just worry about what this is going to cost- which i WILL!) so why not just go to bed. I go up to check on Tommy first. What do I find??
Tommy laying in my bed next to his sister. I guess he had went and asked her to come play Animal Crossing on the Gamecube in my room, so that he could watch. I walked it and stopped dead in my tracks. "whats going on?" Brianna says "he came and asked if I'd play animal crossing, and he said please.. and wasn't doing anything so came in and played".
They're interacting on their own!!!!!! It's like the world is trying to push me to my final limit. Today has been so all over the map i can't even ... make sense of it. Still haven't taken the anxiety med yet because they're in MY bed, and I don't want to STOP them from hanging out.
Honestly i FEEL.. like totally completely FEEL like I am on the verge of explosion. Like, the world is just doing me in and i am just ready to give a big giant FUCK YOU to everyone. But, hubs seems to say that things really aren't that bad, and things are very manageable. He always say's "put some faith in me.. LET ME HANDLE THE SITUATION" (it really REALLY pisses me off when he says that) but i just can't hold the thoughts of worry in my head tonight. My head is just full.
I can tell you this my parents of younger kids. There WILL come a time where Autism, isn't what you hate most in the world. Tommy was all teenager today.. ugh. Teenagers can be such assholes. Even WITH Autism.